CH. 1 – HOW IT ALL BEGAN
Most people come into adoption because they cannot have children naturally. I am not saying all do. But there really aren’t that many people in the world who wake up one day and decide to adopt a child because they want to “do something nice”. If this is the kind of story you’re looking for please let me direct you to google and search for the wonderful Leah Anne Tuoy. (Honestly though if you haven’t heard of this woman you MUST watch The Blind Side immediately!!)
I met my husband (who I will refer to as Mr Lobster) in 2006. Naturally we chatted about children fairly early on in the relationship and both agreed we wanted a family. After years of trying, extreme heavy periods, pain etc. We discovered that it was unlikely to ever happen naturally for us. Of course like most couples in our position we looked into ridiculously expensive IVF. But not only would we never had been able to afford more than one round of treatment, I was then diagnosed as having cancer of the womb. There was no discussion had, I opted for a hysterectomy a week later.
Shattered dreams and depression followed but eventually we discussed options of surrogacy and adoption. However we both agreed we needed time to grieve and enjoy time together as a couple. We had focused so much on having a baby for so long that was time to reconnect as a couple and do all of the things we longed to do.
We bought our first house and for five years we renovated and travelled… most of our years were spent in another country, enjoying sunshine and having fun. We endured constant comments from friends and even family about how amazing our lives were and how we shouldn’t have kids because they would ruin it all. But our hearts were hurting, we both longed for children desperately. Yes our friends and even family may have sounded insensitive. But honestly I think sometimes people believe they are saying the right thing even if they don’t mean it. They know we couldn’t have children so they say what they think we want to hear. We are all guilty of that sometimes. Don’t you think?
Then one day just after Christmas 2019 (before Covid properly reared it’s ugly head) I turned to Mr Lobster and said “I want to adopt. No more messing, no more what ifs and being scared we will be turned down. Let’s just go for it!”
He agreed of course and the rest is what I intend to fill this blog with 🙂
I will talk more about the fear of applying for adoption in future posts. I know a lot of couples worry that they won’t be good enough or won’t meet certain criteria.
Chat soon, much love
Forever Mummy xx
